Out of Character
by Babyfruitstyles
Summary: Because OOC-ness can be just as disturbing to the characters as it is to the reader. Oneshot. Rated for Yandere!Sakura and just to be safe.


**A/N: Sometimes fanfics will tweak character's personalities to make a pairing work better and stuff like that, which can turn out kinda weird if not done right...this is a parody of that, I guess XD it was ridiculously fun to write, sorry if it ended up a bit disturbing~**

**Contains SyaoSaku, sort of, and major elipses ("...") and italics abuse.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Tsubasa. CLAMP does. Also, the ending was heavily based off the ending of "We Are Family!", an epic Naruto fanfic, so credit goes there too.**

* * *

It was a beautiful day in Otou. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Fai was up bright and early to tend to the Cat's Eye café. There wasn't much to do. He made sure the counter was clean and the tables and chairs were in place, and he made some pancakes for his companions. Soon, Sakura came down the stairs to help make pastries for the day. Syaoran came down a little while after, as he'd been exhausted from battling Oni the previous night. They were all hungry, so Fai's pancakes were well-received.

The café wasn't due to open for another 20 minutes or so, so while Syaoran sat on a bar stool staring at his empty plate - probably having a dramatic flashback that no one else could see - and Sakura went to put on her waitress outfit, Fai idly wondered where Kurogane could be. Hadn't he gotten up yet? The pancakes were getting cold.

The mage decided to wake him up. He made his way up the stairs and cracked open the door to their sleeping quarters. "Kurorin...?"

Sure enough, there was a disproportionate ninja-sized lump on one bed, buried in a cocoon of blankets. Fai bounded over and jabbed the lump with one finger. "Wakey-wakey, Kuro-pii~!"

The lump squirmed, and a head of spiky black hair emerged, facing the wall. "Mmh...not right now, Fai..."

"Aw, but Kuro-pon, there's-" Fai stopped mid-sentence. _Not right now, Fai._ Fai. Not mage, Fai. He didn't think Kurogane had _ever_ used his real name before... Fai turned the ninja toward him and put a hand on his forehead to feel for a temperature. _Maybe he isn't feeling well-_

The ninja giggled. "Hehe, that tickles~!"

What.

"Uhm...K-Kurogane...?" Fai ventured, laughing nervously. He started to withdraw his hand, but the ninja clamped his own hands over it, locking it in place. Fai's eyes widened.

Kurogane opened his eyes and looked up at the mage with a teary pout. "'Kurogane'? Just 'Kurogane'? I thought Fai-chan liked nicknaming me...does he not like me anymore? :'("

* * *

"AAAAAHHHH!"

Syaoran snapped out of his flashback to see Fai stumbling down the stairs, features stricken with panic.

"Fai-san? What's wrong...?"

Fai looked at him and blinked. He then shook his head vigorously as if to rid it of something, and gave a very forced smile, eye twitching. "Oh...nothing, really...Kuro-tan isn't..._feeling_ very well...so I've left him to rest..."

Syaoran didn't think that did much to explain Fai's obvious state of disarray, but he let it slide. He didn't want to pry.

Fai let out a shaky breath and, calming himself, slipped back into his practiced character, letting a relaxed smile fall into place. "Anyway...we have to open the café soon. Is everything all right down here? How's Sakura-chan?"

Syaoran looked around. "Now that you mention it, she was just over there, but I haven't seen her for a few minutes...I wonder where-"

_"Syaoran-kuuuuuun..."_

Before he could say another word, two hands darted out from behind him and wrapped around his waist. A female voice floated toward him, laced with an eerie combination of sweetness and malignance. "Syaoran-kun...tell me that you love me..."

Syaoran blushed. What? Who was-?

The hands spun him around on the bar stool, and his eyes immediately met soft brown ones. _S-Sakura?!_

Sakura's eyes were narrowed into almost a...glare...and her face was graced with a small, knowing smile. "Come on...Syaoran-kun...you know you do..." She leaned forward and brushed her dainty nose against his own.

Syaoran flushed bright red. "P-Princess-!" No, this couldn't be right. Sakura wouldn't act like this...right?

Fai watched the two from the stairwell. Something _definitely_ wasn't right here...as obvious as it was that the two kids were in love, neither would ever be so bold about it, especially not Sakura. So what was it? Could this be that witch, Yuuko, playing some weird trick on them...?

Just then, Kurogane appeared behind him. The ninja rubbed his eyes and yawned, then broke into a happy smile. "Hi, Fai-chan!"

Fai tensed. Really, happiness sounded horrific in that guy's voice.

"Is breakfast ready?"

"Yes, it is..." Fai slipped behind the counter, plopped four pancakes onto a plate, and slid it towards the ninja. _He hates sweets,_ Fai thought, reassuring himself. _M__aybe an annoyance like this will snap him out of it._ Luckily, Fai was the master of annoyances, so making one shouldn't be a problem.

"Mmm~ Fai-chan makes good pancakes! :3"

Note: _shouldn't._

Syaoran backed out of Sakura's arms. "Princess...I really shouldn't..."

Sakura's eyes widened, as did her smile. "Shouldn't what?" She took a step forward. "It's rude not to conform to the wishes of your princess..."

Syaoran backed up even more, slowly making his way away from the girl. He put his hands up in front of him in a weak gesture. "But I..."

Sakura lunged at him.

* * *

The café stayed closed well past its opening hour. As a murderously-smiling Sakura chased a forever-traumatized Syaoran around and around the room, Fai was trying everything in his arsenal to get Kurogane to chase him, or even just yell at him, so that things might feel _normal,_ but everything - nicknaming, teasing, poking, sweets - only served to fuel the ninja's infuriating _cheerfulness._ The mage could feel his sanity slipping away by the second.

"Er...oh no! Big Puppy is angry at Big Kitty! Whatever will Big Kitty do?"

"Hehe...imma puppy...woof."

"I'm running now...! Doesn't the puppy wanna chase me?"

"Woof! Woof!"

"Kuro-chi, ah...look! It's a wild Tomoyo!"

Kurogane whipped his head around to where Fai was pointing, but, seeing no princess but the maniacally grinning Sakura, turned back to him with wide, teary eyes. "Y-you lied...Fai-chan lied...!"

_"I'VE LIED A LOT MORE THAN THAT, MISTER SUNSHINE!"_ Fai felt like screaming.

Syaoran tripped over an overturned chair and fell on his stomach. He immediately felt Sakura's weight on his back. "Syaoran-kun..."

"Wh-why, Fai-chan? Why would you lie about something so important?"

"I've got you...~"

"I thought Princess Tomoyo had actually come to see me...!"

"Now..._Syaoran_..."

"YOU'RE SO MEAN-!"

That's when the café exploded.

* * *

Mokona woke with a start. The sky was dark, and it was warm in the arms of Sakura, who was fast asleep. _Just a dream..._ Mokona hugged Sakura's arm and snuggled deeper into her pillow. _Hehe...Mokona liked that dream...too bad Mokona doesn't know what happens next..._

Wrapped in thoughts of its oh-so-entertaining companions, the manjuu bun drifted back to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Now Mokona's dreaming that you reviewed! :3**


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